Headaches and Headboards
by Tmyres77
Summary: A more serious look at the relationship of the two secret agents when Max's plans for his anniversary seem to fall through


Headaches and Headboards  
  
Maxwell Smart was in the middle of one of his favorite dreams. He was standing at the altar, clad in a light blue tuxedo (which had seen better days, as it was torn to shreds). His chin was beginning to bruise, but he didn't care. His mind wasn't even registering the pain from his sore fists. No, all of his attention was focused on the vision of loveliness descending down the stairs and making her way toward him.  
  
Clad in a white gown, and well, he wasn't quite sure what the headdress was (but he was sure it was a fashionable style as his fiancée was always up-to-date with the current fashion wear), his eyes feasted on 99 as she walked down the aisle and approached him.  
  
He couldn't believe the day was finally here. His one true love was at his side, smiling radiantly at him, eyes full of a love he knew was reflected in his own.   
  
"You look beautiful," he whispered to her as they turned toward the minister.  
  
Her eyes lowered at the compliment, a faint blush spreading across her already glowing cheeks.  
  
Max's attention shifted to the man as he spoke of love through sickness and health (they'd already been through a lot of sickness, so that wouldn't be a problem), for richer or for poor (they made pretty decent money, so no worries there) and so on.   
  
Max couldn't believe how dry his throat got when the minister asked him if he would take 99 as his wife. Of course he would take her! But, he'd had to repeat his "I do" because it almost didn't come out the first time! Fortunately, 99 knew he wasn't having second thoughts, and so she had just smiled at him.   
  
A moment later, their rings were on their fingers and he was finally kissing his bride. His bride! He loved it.  
  
Smiling, in his sleep, Max snuggled closer to the warmth that was his wife and tightened his hold on her.  
  
99 shifted slightly, waking up as she felt Max's arms pull he r closer. She turned and smiled at what she saw. Max's face was scrunched, his lips puckered up and he seemed to be kissing...air.   
  
She grinned. Even after three years of marriage he was still too adorable for words. She leaned over and placed her lips against his.   
  
If he was that intent on kissing someone, 99 figured it ought to be her.   
  
"Wha?" Max mumbled. He pulled away, slowly opening his eyes.   
  
"Good morning, love."  
  
"99? Wha...where...what happened to your wedding dress?"  
  
99 looked at him in mild confusion. "Nothing happened to it. It's at my mother's. Why do you ask?"  
  
Max sat up, shaking his head. "I was dreaming of our wedding." He smiled. "And, I was dreaming of you in that dress. What a dress!"  
  
"Max," 99 blushed.   
  
"Well, it was," he smiled broadly. He pulled the covers back and headed toward the bathroom.  
  
99 watched him affectionately, listening as he started the shower and clattered around for his toothbrush   
"Did you have a good night's rest, love?"  
  
"Wha you asch mee?" Max poked his head out the corner, toothbrush jammed in his left cheek.  
  
"Never mind, Max. Go back to brushing your teeth. I'm going to check on the twins and get breakfast started, OK?" She pulled her robe around her, cinching it at her waist.  
  
"OK," Max mumbled, switching the toothbrush to the other cheek.  
  
He smiled as he watched her leave, toothpaste foam peeking from the corners of his mouth. Today was his anniversary and boy was 99 in for a surprise!  
  
He had ordered a brand new headboard - the same one 99 had pointed out to him at the store two weekends ago. They had been looking for new furniture for the twins, when she had wandered over to the bedroom suites. He noticed the longing glances she kept casting at a cherry wood headboard. It had intricately carved floral designs in the center. He wasn't a headboard connoisseur, but even he had to admit it how nice it looked.  
  
So, he had returned the next day, telling 99 he had to go across town with the Chief (he even had the Chief and Larabee play along in case 99 called to check on him). He was shocked to learn that it had been bought earlier that day. But, the clerk assured him they could order one and have it there in time for his anniversary. Laying down an outrageous sum of money, he ordered it, but only after getting assurances from the clerk (on his mother's grave) that it would arrive on time.  
  
He was supposed to pick it up at 10 a.m. Only two hours. He figured he could drop 99 off at CONTROL, tell her he had to pick up a package for the Chief while really getting the headboard, get it back home and set up before lunchtime. Then, he could bring her home for lunch and surprise her!  
  
Yep, he thought to himself, you are one smart man Maxwell Smart!  
  
  
****  
  
You are one dead man, Maxwell Smart.  
  
That was the thought running through Max's mind, over and over again like a Hindu mantra. He had just left Yarmy's Furniture Depot and was driving around the CONTROL building, trying to determine a way to break the news to his wife.  
  
They hadn't had 99's headboard.   
  
"But, you assured me it would be here," Max had told the clerk.  
  
"Yes, sir. We did. But, one of trucks overturned last night, so that shipment has been delayed. I assure you it will be here tomorrow," the man had replied, smiling as if that made everything better.  
  
"Tomorrow doesn't do me any good when my anniversary is today!" Max had practically yelled.  
  
But, yelling would get him no where. He knew it then just like he knew it now. He was simply going to have to go in and tell 99 what had happened. He was pretty certain she'd understand. After all, she rarely got mad. But, man when she did...Well, Max knew better than that, especially after that one incident with the undercover mission and the go-go girl. Never again.  
  
But, this was different, Max reasoned. If only the twin's hadn't destroyed the card he bought her. At least a card would have helped smooth things over. Especially the one he'd picked out. It had flowers and birds and spoke of true love. Real mushy stuff - things he knew 99 loved.   
  
"Yep," he sighed. "The card would've been helpful."  
  
  
  
***   
99 was beginning to wonder when Max was going to get back. He had told her he would pick her up for lunch, but he hadn't said where they were going. She assumed he was being cryptic because it was their anniversary. But, she hadn't even gotten the chance to kiss him and tell him so, because as soon as she'd stepped out of the car, he'd sped off, saying something about the Chief's package.  
  
He was a strange man, her husband. But, she loved him for it, and she was ready to shower him with affection on the day that marked the beginning of their life together. But, she couldn't do that unless he made an appearance.  
  
"99," Max called as he lightly rapped on her door.  
  
Speak of the devil, she thought. "Come in, Max!"  
  
She noticed Max looked a little nervous as he stepped through the doorway. Closing it behind him, he made his way to her desk.   
  
"Hello love. Where have you been?" she asked, tilting her face toward him.  
  
Max leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. "I was, um, out...eh, picking something up."  
  
"For the Chief?" she asked.  
  
"Eh, yes. For the Chief. That's right. The Chief."  
  
"Are you OK, Max?" 99 stood up and brought her hand to his forehead. "You seem a little distracted."  
  
"I'm fine, 99," he assured her. "I just have something on my mind."  
  
"So do I, Max." She slipped her arms around his shoulders.   
  
"Probably not the same thing I have on my mind," he muttered.  
  
"What was that, love?"  
  
"Nothing. Look 99, there's something I have to tell you," Max started to say, but 99 interrupted him.  
  
"Me too, darling." And she proceeded to kiss him full on the lips, pulling him close to her.  
  
"Well," Max said, when they broke apart, "I think I like what you have to say better, but I still have to tell you something."  
  
"Of course, love. What is it?"  
  
"Well, 99, I..."  
  
99 looked at the phone as it interrupted their conversation. "Just one minute, Max."  
  
Max watched in frustration as she moved away from him. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.   
  
"99, have you seen Max?" the Chief popped his head in the door, and then pulled back when he saw Max standing there.  
  
"Hi Chief."  
"Max, I need you to come to my office. I have a case that requires immediate attention."  
  
"Right Chief, but can I have a minute with 99?" Max asked. He really wanted to explain things before leaving. He didn't want her mad at him.  
  
"Sorry, Max. No time. The drop occurs in two hours." The Chief stepped through the doors.   
  
Max sighed. This was not turning out to be his day. "99, I have to go. I'll stop by later."  
  
99, who had not really been paying attention to Max and the Chief's conversation, put a hand to the phone.   
  
"Max?"  
  
"I have to go, darling. But, I'll be back later," he headed out the doors.  
  
"But Max, I didn't get to tell you Happy..."   
  
The door closed on her mid-sentence. 99 stared at it for a moment in shock, then lowered her head in confusion. What was wrong with Max? And, more importantly, why hadn't he mentioned their anniversary?  
  
She put the phone back to her ear, a slow flame starting to boil deep inside.  
  
***  
  
It was well past two p.m. when Max was finally able to make it back to CONTROL. The drop had been more difficult than they'd planned. But, besides a few minor scrapes and one lost shoe, he had escaped unscathed, which was more than he could say for his latest encounter with 99.  
  
He had tried to call her from the deli after the drop, but he'd only gotten to talk with her for a couple of minutes before the Chief had motioned for him to leave. She'd started to say something to him, but he'd had to hang up quickly. He felt bad for cutting her off, but figured he could apologize later when he saw her.  
  
Except for later hadn't happened. He'd gone to her office to see her, only to learn that she'd gone home for a few minutes. Something about running out of diapers. He'd tried to call home, but this time it was he who got hung up on. 99 said everything was fine, no, there was no need for him to come and she would see him later. She hadn't even said I love you back to him.  
  
Poor Max. He didn't know what to do. His entire day was crashing down on him. Why couldn't this be like last year's anniversary? A nice romantic candlelit dinner, slow dancing, cuddling, kissing...perfect.   
  
Instead, he had no present, he had no card, and to top it all off, his wife was mad at him.  
  
He had seen 99 return - watched her walk right past him and go into office. He had thought about following but changed his mind.   
  
This was a delicate situation. And, he was going to need a delicate plan. Something to make 99 understand. It would require grace, stealth and most of all, a gentle hand.   
  
***  
  
99 looked up as her door opened and saw Max stroll into her office with a determined look on his face.  
  
"Let's go," he said without preamble.  
  
"Excuse me?" 99 was not in the mood to be ordered around, especially after the man had forgotten their anniversary.  
  
"I'm kidnapping you."  
  
"What!"  
  
"You heard me. You won't talk to me, so you leave me no other choice than to kidnap you," he told her, sounding perfectly convinced that he made complete sense.  
  
"Max, you can't kidnap me. I'm your wife," 99 argued. She was more than a bit confused.  
  
"Mere semantics, 99."  
  
99 was speechless and not just because Max had used such a big word (maybe he had been using the dictionary she bought him last month). No, it was more of a shock that came from realizing the man she loved had gone completely and undeniably insane.  
She stood up and reached for his forehead. "Max, are you feeling alright?" Gone was her earlier attitude of displeasure. She was now genuinely concerned for her husband's apparent loss of sanity.  
  
"I'm fine," he assured her, moving away from her hand. "Now, get your coat. We're leaving."  
  
99 thought for a moment, weighing her options. While it was true she was still upset with him, perhaps she should go with Max. He had been under a lot of stress recently, what with the Walker case going sour. She decided to humor him.  
  
"Whatever you say," she agreed, reaching for her coat. "Where are we going?"  
  
Max took her by the hand. "You'll have to wait and see."  
  
He was a bit surprised at how easy coercing 99 had been. He had expected her to put up more of a fight. After all, she had been, well, not very nice, to him for the better part of the day. Still, he wasn't going to argue with fate. Pulling her close behind him, he led her to parking garage, and then navigated them to their car, opening the door for her. Once he was sure she was settled in, he made his way to the driver's side.  
  
"Are you sure you feel alright, Max?"  
  
"Positive, 99."  
  
"And, you won't tell me where we're going?"  
  
"Top secret information," he smiled grimly.  
  
Top secret information closely resembled the Potomac River, 99 thought as Max pulled off the road and parked down from the Lincoln Memorial.   
  
She watched, with mild curiosity as Max made his way to her door and then reached into the back seat.  
  
Holding his hand behind his back, he opened her door and took her hand, helping her from the car.  
  
"Max, are you going to tell me why we're at the Lincoln Memorial?"  
  
Max smiled enigmatically. "Not just yet, 99." He brought his hand out from behind his back, revealing a single, long-stemmed rose.   
  
99's eyes widened. "What's this for?"  
  
Max smiled as he started forward, only to trip over the curb. He caught himself on the door handle and straightened himself. "Drat. Why is it I can never make it through a special moment without doing that?" he complained.  
  
"Max?"  
  
Noticing the tears welling up in 99's eyes, he stopped mumbling and took her free hand. "I know you though I forgot our anniversary, 99, but honestly I didn't. It's just that things didn't quite turn out the way I planned them. I did get you a gift, but it got delayed and won't be here until tomorrow. And, I did have a card for you, but the twins got hold of it and well...let's just say the rats in the pipes underneath the city will enjoy it," he grimaced slightly.  
  
99 raised a hand to her mouth. "Max, they didn't..."  
  
"Yep, 99" he nodded, "A four-flush salute right down the toilet."  
  
"Oh Max," she laughed.  
  
"Now she laughs." Max rolled his eyes. "I tried to tell you earlier, but things just kept popping up, and by the time I had a moment to try to explain things, well, you were already sore at me," he trailed off.   
  
99 lowered her head in shame. How could she have really thought that Max could forget their anniversary? True, he did have trouble remembering many things, even information he had just been told. But, when it came to their marriage, he had been uncharacteristically reliable, remembering the twins' feeding times, when it was his turn to help out with the laundry and so much more. She should have known he hadn't forgotten.  
  
She started to apologize. "Max, I'm so sorry. I treated you horribly today."  
  
"99, don't," Max stopped her with a finger to her lips. "You don't have to apologize to me."  
  
"But, I..."  
  
Again, one finger placed across her lips. "No apology is necessary, 99." He took her hand. "C'mon. I want to come with me."  
  
She walked alongside him in silence, watching as their interlocked fingers swayed back and forth. She was immensely curious at the recent turn of events. While not entirely out of character for Max, this was a side to her husband that was rarely seen, even by her. Most often, Max demanded apologies when he felt he had been wronged. It wasn't an ego thing for him. It was simply Max. But, for him to refuse an apology - especially one so well deserved - very unusual.   
  
Max stopped at the bottom of the memorial and sat down, tugging her alongside him. She looked at him quizzically.  
  
"Max, why are we here?"  
  
He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the night air and listening as the wind danced across the water in front of them. When he opened them, he turned and faced her.  
  
"Sometimes, I think we get so caught up with CONTROL and the twins that we forget to take time to ourselves. I enjoy working with 99 the CONTROL agent, and I love spending time with 99, the mother of my children. But, sometimes, I just wish I could spend some time with 99, the woman I fell in love with."   
  
He paused, unsure of what to say next.  
  
99 brought her hand to his face, tracing a gentle outline along his jaw. "Max, why didn't you say something sooner?"  
  
"Well, you know me, 99. I'm not always good at expressing myself. I tend to make a mess of it."  
  
She smiled. "I think you did a wonderful job of expressing yourself just now."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really," she assured him. "And, I feel exactly the same way. Too often I see Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, or Maxwell Smart, father of the twin terrors," she laughed.  
  
Max smiled.  
  
"But," 99 continued, raising his hand to her heart. "Who I would like to see more often is Maxwell Smart, the man who captured my heart on our very first mission."  
  
"I know him," Max quipped. "But, I think he's been in hiding lately. Too many other things in his way."  
  
"Is that so," 99 smiled. "Well, perhaps if you can find him, I might be able to persuade the other 99 to make more appearances."  
  
"You have yourself a deal, 99."  
  
"Oh Max."  
  
He beamed at his wife, relieved to have finally made things right between them. "Aren't you going to kiss me and tell me how wonderful I am?"  
  
She raised an eyebrow at him.   
  
"OK, maybe not," Max mumbled.   
  
99 rolled her eyes at him and leaned forward, planting a long kiss firmly on her husband's lips.  
  
"Mmm. Perfect," Max sighed.  
  
Perfect, 99 thought with contentment. She pulled away and nuzzled into Max's embrace as he slipped an arm around her shoulders.   
  
"Happy Anniversary, 99."  
  
"Happy Anniversary, Max."   
  
  
THE END 


End file.
